Melbourne

Hi I would like some friends please

I would like some friends please.

When I first went to university in 2008, I lived in a hall of residence, best time of my life right? No. The first few weeks were the worst, I was incredibly shy and not sure how to come out of my shell, that set me up for the rest of the year. I went the whole year with not many people knowing who I was which was incredibly lonely for an 18 year old. That is not to say 2008 was a terrible year altogether I had a good group of school friends who kept me going and some fun was had. That experience of not being able to make friends has kind of held me back ever since, and now having thrown my self in to the deep end of moving to a new country I am reminded that I have grown a lot in the last 10 years but there is always the danger of me going in to my shell.

Making friends as an adult sucks, especially when you have moved to a city where you barely know people your own age. But I went to my first party over the weekend, my first party since my own farewell party from Wellington back in February. I was so so close not to attending, I was coming up with all the excuses:

  • I’m currently about an hour out of the city coming home at night would be a mission (and it was a mission).
  • I’ll be awkward (I was a little bit)
  • I’ll say something stupid (I did).
  • I don’t know anyone going (big lie I knew a bunch of them).

I am happy to report that I am pleased I attended, it was a boost to my confidence. That evening reminded me that I could still socialise and talk to people. It was the first time in months where I got to meet people my own age. I’ve been so use to hanging out on my own for so long I think I definitely needed a night out. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t dreading it, I spent all day in bed thinking I don’t want to go, but I have to go. I was saying things to myself such as “You can do this Anushka, you are a grown up 27 year old person who can go out and be social.” Once I got to the bar and the liquid courage set in I was alright.

I met some nice people and who knows if I will actually get the chance to hang out with them again, it might just only be through their Facebook updates, but hopefully I can continue to push myself to go out and do more. Melbourne is a pretty rad city to live in even if you don’t know many people, so it should be even better with a good group of friends.

I let that bad experience in 2008 define me for a long time, although insecurities remain, I am more confident and more sure of myself now. As I have mentioned before in other posts the more you push yourself, the better it will get. I really need that to continue to be true. In order to get out and meet people you have to find that extroverted side of yourself, its definitely there and ready. If there are other shy introverted people reading this post, I hope my little story of hanging out in a Melbourne bar for a few hours on the weekend can encourage you to go out and find what you want too.

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Shameless Plug

Two of my friends and I have set up a food Instagram, we are called Kiwi Food Trotters. Kiwi Food Trotters as we are three Kiwi’s based in three different cities, Toronto, Wellington and Melbourne. We’re  going to be searching for the yummiest bites to eat in our cities and where ever else we may be on our travels.

If this sounds like something you may be interested in, check out @kiwifoodtrotters on Instagram.

Apparently I’m An Adult?

The things I have noticed about adulthood in 2017:

  • Everyone is busy.
  • Everyone is bragging about their lives on social media.
  • Everyone is buying houses, getting married, having babies etc.

I recognise that these are gross generalisations but when my head is consumed by anxiety it can certainly feel like the truth.

I need to be more busy right now, not to the point where I can talk about how busy I am, but just enough so I can be more present in my life and worry less. I’m currently occupying my time exploring the wonderful city of Melbourne and applying for work. But there is more that I can be doing.

I hope I don’t brag on social media, I’m probably guilty of it though. Every few weeks I think I’ll quit but I really like taking pictures of my food so… *insert shrugging emoji.*

I don’t own a house (I am also content with the idea that it may never happen), I am no where close to getting married (which is okay for now). I’m mainly just Googling how to do things from ‘how to make new friends’ to ‘how to write a cover letter,’ instead of actually doing said things. The fact that I am not doing the above ‘adult’ things is at times very stressful and can bring about a lot of anxiety, overthinking and of late sleepless nights.

So as a Millennial how do I cope? When everyone else appears at least to have it together and I don’t.

In no particular order:

Meditate: I downloaded the Headspace app, I felt somewhat silly doing it but I also kind of love it. My goal is to focus on being present. Meditation helps reduce stress, increases happiness and acceptance and improves concentration. All you need to do is take 10 minutes a day!

Positive affirmations: I brought a happiness journal from Kikki.K and in it was told to write down three positive affirmations to always tell myself.

Repeat after me:

  • I am a smart and capable person, I possess the qualities needed to be successful.
  • Today I abandon old habits and take up new more positive ones.
  • I have unlimited potential, I am excited about today.

Other reminders:

Don’t be too hard on yourself and DON’T. COMPARE. YOURSELF. TO. OTHERS. It’s not worth it, (reminder to self: Anushka it’s not worth it).

Treat Yo Self. Because you are worth it. (Also watch Parks & Recreation because that show is a treat in itself).

I am adult because I work hard, I am responsible, I laugh, I cry, I am rational, irrational, I get angry, moody, I love. Its all the same things that make me human.

So I’m going to try and chill and keep at it. I got this, and so do you.

Warm fuzzy

I turned 27 last month, it had been less than a month since I had moved to Melbourne Australia. I was feeling very anxious about having to deal with another birthday when everyone on Facebook would be saying ‘have the best day ever!’ I knew I would not have the best day ever, but I did have a nice day, and I’ll forever be grateful to the people who helped make that happen.

The next day a parcel arrived in the mail containing a jar of warm fuzzies from my best friends in New Zealand. It contained a series of quotes, memories and random musings that made me laugh, smile and cry at the same time.

I wanted to share the picture above of two of the quotes that were in the jar.  Its a reminder to not stress, in my case stress unnecessarily, and a reminder to keep pushing forward to achieve your goals. I knew I always wanted to live overseas so I did something I have never done, on March 5 2017 I moved. It’s a reminder to me that I am where I want to be even if it feels a bit hard right now.

I hope someone may find this advice useful. I hope I can continue to do so as well.