Name Change is now

I’m continuing to tinker with this page to make it better so there could be a bit more changes, but ill stick with this name I think.

That is all. Be back soon with a new post.



The Art of Combating Loneliness

The last three months have been the loneliest, strangest yet also most exciting time of my life I guess. Lonely as I am yet to make new friends in this new city, strange because it is a new city and exciting because its a new city. You hear all these amazing stories of people moving overseas for the first time getting their job within a week, finding the perfect flat and friends almost immediately. None of that has happened to me yet, most of which is due to my own doing, I am an introvert, I have anxiety, I am a serial procrastinator, these three combined is not a good mix.

I’m doing things for sure, but the last three months is probably the longest I have spent on my own. Last week I made a solo theater trip to My Fair Lady, it was great, I’ve seen two other shows by myself too (Matilda and The Book of Mormon). The more and more things I see by myself the more I think that it might be nice to share this experience with someone. Though I think of myself as introvert and love my alone time, I am starting to worry that I am spending too much time on my own.

Last week I  had some friends visit from Wellington and I forgot how nice it was to socialise with people again. Hearing from my friends I realized that I need to stop putting things off, I have to stop waiting for  things to come my way I must go out and get them, even though going out and getting it makes me incredibly anxious. Not that I didn’t know any of this before, but it is time to actually make an effort.

People move at their own pace I think all I need to do is pick up that pace. I’ve done a few things in the last week to start changing that, I signed up to a networking event that will be happening in two weeks. I’ve also arranged to meet two contacts next week for coffee to discuss career options. I’ve been attending Toastmasters here, which is a public speaking group, and I gave a speech after only attending the club for a month. I’m going to make myself attend some meet up events (I’ve been saying that for the last three months *insert laughing emoji*) and I have downloaded some apps! Bumble, Hey! VINA, Huggle and even Tinder. Hey! VINA is for women to make friends with other women and I am using it right now, honestly it feels strange to swipe left or right on potential friends but let’s see how that goes. I’m usually very shy at first but once you get to know me, good luck trying to keep me quiet.

So the art of combating loneliness? Be proactive. Just keep doing things, move at your own pace but keep doing things. I’m attempting to go for one new thing a week. One of my friends always tells me you just have to do what you love and the right people will come your way. Let’s see how it works out.

Positivity Friday

Tomorrow marks one year since I graduated with my Masters degree in International Relations, pretty big deal, I only just got through my final year in High School and struggled through the first few years of university, so getting a Masters degree was a tremendous achievement and I am proud of my accomplishment.

This week has been hard though, I’m missing my friends and family and knowing that it has been a year since I graduated I am naturally in self reflection mode. Have I accomplished anything? Kind of? But not really, my friends and family will likely disagree but I know I could have done better. When I self reflect I am usually very hard on myself, and I have been doing that this week, self doubt usually punches me in the face and I just think I am not good enough at anything. That is obviously not true, I know I’m good and capable and that I am taking small steps in the right direction.

Everyone is telling me to stay positive and I am trying, but nearly three months in to the job search the struggle is real. No matter how much you prepare for it, when the job rejections are rolling in, its very hard to feel good about yourself.

What am I doing to stay positive?

A number of things I have already outlined in this post Apparently I’m An Adult?

But further to that I write, just writing this post alone is therapeutic. I write down my feelings and acknowledge the fact that I feel negative but then I move on. I acknowledge the fact that I will likely feel negative again but I know I have to keep going. At the end of each week I try and either write down or make a mental note of positive things that happened. My list for this week is as follows:

  • I applied for several jobs and I will apply for some more.
  • I didn’t feel as nervous about applying for jobs this week, which is progress.
  • I showed up to Toastmasters again, and although I was a little socially awkward I got through.
  • I went through the site Meet Up and joined a bunch of groups, next step is to actually attend an event.
  • I treated myself to a foot massage on Monday.
  • I also treated myself to Zumbo Macarons and a Krispy Kreme Doughnut.
  • I started exercising again and I am drinking more water.
  • I’m sleeping a little better, and I’m starting to get out of bed before 11am.
  • I started tidying my room on the regular and did not let my room get too messy.
  • I am continuing to make progress on the book I am reading Insane Clown President.

So in a week where I had struggled greatly, missed home, and had a good cry I also managed to take some steps forward, mixed bag but it was alright. I’m taking positivity from the little things. I hope you had an alright week too.

Happy Monday

This is my favourite song and I thought I would share it with you at the start of a new week. I first heard this song when I was 19, its a song that for reasons unexplained gives me a lot of hope, its romantic, it makes me nostalgic for experiences and memories that aren’t my own. Its just so darn beautiful, more people have to hear it.

Apparently I’m An Adult?

The things I have noticed about adulthood in 2017:

  • Everyone is busy.
  • Everyone is bragging about their lives on social media.
  • Everyone is buying houses, getting married, having babies etc.

I recognise that these are gross generalisations but when my head is consumed by anxiety it can certainly feel like the truth.

I need to be more busy right now, not to the point where I can talk about how busy I am, but just enough so I can be more present in my life and worry less. I’m currently occupying my time exploring the wonderful city of Melbourne and applying for work. But there is more that I can be doing.

I hope I don’t brag on social media, I’m probably guilty of it though. Every few weeks I think I’ll quit but I really like taking pictures of my food so… *insert shrugging emoji.*

I don’t own a house (I am also content with the idea that it may never happen), I am no where close to getting married (which is okay for now). I’m mainly just Googling how to do things from ‘how to make new friends’ to ‘how to write a cover letter,’ instead of actually doing said things. The fact that I am not doing the above ‘adult’ things is at times very stressful and can bring about a lot of anxiety, overthinking and of late sleepless nights.

So as a Millennial how do I cope? When everyone else appears at least to have it together and I don’t.

In no particular order:

Meditate: I downloaded the Headspace app, I felt somewhat silly doing it but I also kind of love it. My goal is to focus on being present. Meditation helps reduce stress, increases happiness and acceptance and improves concentration. All you need to do is take 10 minutes a day!

Positive affirmations: I brought a happiness journal from Kikki.K and in it was told to write down three positive affirmations to always tell myself.

Repeat after me:

  • I am a smart and capable person, I possess the qualities needed to be successful.
  • Today I abandon old habits and take up new more positive ones.
  • I have unlimited potential, I am excited about today.

Other reminders:

Don’t be too hard on yourself and DON’T. COMPARE. YOURSELF. TO. OTHERS. It’s not worth it, (reminder to self: Anushka it’s not worth it).

Treat Yo Self. Because you are worth it. (Also watch Parks & Recreation because that show is a treat in itself).

I am adult because I work hard, I am responsible, I laugh, I cry, I am rational, irrational, I get angry, moody, I love. Its all the same things that make me human.

So I’m going to try and chill and keep at it. I got this, and so do you.

Warm fuzzy

I turned 27 last month, it had been less than a month since I had moved to Melbourne Australia. I was feeling very anxious about having to deal with another birthday when everyone on Facebook would be saying ‘have the best day ever!’ I knew I would not have the best day ever, but I did have a nice day, and I’ll forever be grateful to the people who helped make that happen.

The next day a parcel arrived in the mail containing a jar of warm fuzzies from my best friends in New Zealand. It contained a series of quotes, memories and random musings that made me laugh, smile and cry at the same time.

I wanted to share the picture above of two of the quotes that were in the jar.  Its a reminder to not stress, in my case stress unnecessarily, and a reminder to keep pushing forward to achieve your goals. I knew I always wanted to live overseas so I did something I have never done, on March 5 2017 I moved. It’s a reminder to me that I am where I want to be even if it feels a bit hard right now.

I hope someone may find this advice useful. I hope I can continue to do so as well.