twenty something

Mid year report card

Okay half year mark of 2017, where did the last 6 months go? I say it every year but the last 6 months have flown by especially quick. I also say that every year.

I remain cautiously optimistic although while still feeling incredibly frustrated with myself and my inability to find work. I don’t want to moan though, today feels like a good opportunity to reflect on the last 6 months, on the cool things that have happened and what I have learned along the way.

January

It was wedding season in Wellington, I was in a wedding party which took up my January. It was a fantastic time, I kept busy and got to hang out with my friends. I don’t want to sound overly confident or anything but I reckon I can throw an excellent bridal shower.

I make good cake.

February

I finished up at my job of the last four years and officially booked my ticket to Melbourne. It was a month of ‘see you laters,’ it was emotional af. The anxiety of moving countries would come and go, one minute I would feel absolutely fine and then without warning I would feel overcome with nerves and would joke about taking my dog to Australia with me.

This is Millie, my dog.

March

I did it, I left Wellington. Part of me wasn’t sure I’d go through with it as I have been known in the past to say I was going to do things but then it would never happen. The first month I just explored, hung out at NGV, got use to the trains and buses and got myself acquainted with Melbourne. I saw The Book of Mormon which was the coolest thing I have seen on stage, period.

April

Not my month, although it really should be my month, after all I was born in April. I was dreading it though, first birthday away from friends and family. Nothing particularly noteworthy happened, I went to my first networking event which was good, but I would urge anyone new to networking to not wait two months to get in touch with the people you meet. Follow up asap!

May

My first interview! For a job I did not want…

I was relieved I didn’t get it, although proud of myself for getting through a group interview for the first time and putting myself within shot of being considered. Any interview practice is good.

I was also social for the first time in months with people my own age, I needed that. I set up a Instagram food account with friends, and I started this blog!

June

I networked more, I went to a party after a very long time, I talked about that here. I had another interview with a recruitment agent and it went really well, it was the most relaxed I have felt in such an environment ever.

And finally to cap of my June just yesterday I did my first temp job! My recruiter literally woke me up and sent me to cover reception for an organisation. I was flustered and did not know what was happening for the first hour, but I got it done and that’s a tad more experience now under my belt!

That’s it. First 6 months gone just like that. If I could grade myself I would probably give myself a C+. I’ve done okay, so much more to do though. I will give myself a higher grade in December.

Time to get to work.

 

 

 

 

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Hi I would like some friends please

I would like some friends please.

When I first went to university in 2008, I lived in a hall of residence, best time of my life right? No. The first few weeks were the worst, I was incredibly shy and not sure how to come out of my shell, that set me up for the rest of the year. I went the whole year with not many people knowing who I was which was incredibly lonely for an 18 year old. That is not to say 2008 was a terrible year altogether I had a good group of school friends who kept me going and some fun was had. That experience of not being able to make friends has kind of held me back ever since, and now having thrown my self in to the deep end of moving to a new country I am reminded that I have grown a lot in the last 10 years but there is always the danger of me going in to my shell.

Making friends as an adult sucks, especially when you have moved to a city where you barely know people your own age. But I went to my first party over the weekend, my first party since my own farewell party from Wellington back in February. I was so so close not to attending, I was coming up with all the excuses:

  • I’m currently about an hour out of the city coming home at night would be a mission (and it was a mission).
  • I’ll be awkward (I was a little bit)
  • I’ll say something stupid (I did).
  • I don’t know anyone going (big lie I knew a bunch of them).

I am happy to report that I am pleased I attended, it was a boost to my confidence. That evening reminded me that I could still socialise and talk to people. It was the first time in months where I got to meet people my own age. I’ve been so use to hanging out on my own for so long I think I definitely needed a night out. That doesn’t mean I wasn’t dreading it, I spent all day in bed thinking I don’t want to go, but I have to go. I was saying things to myself such as “You can do this Anushka, you are a grown up 27 year old person who can go out and be social.” Once I got to the bar and the liquid courage set in I was alright.

I met some nice people and who knows if I will actually get the chance to hang out with them again, it might just only be through their Facebook updates, but hopefully I can continue to push myself to go out and do more. Melbourne is a pretty rad city to live in even if you don’t know many people, so it should be even better with a good group of friends.

I let that bad experience in 2008 define me for a long time, although insecurities remain, I am more confident and more sure of myself now. As I have mentioned before in other posts the more you push yourself, the better it will get. I really need that to continue to be true. In order to get out and meet people you have to find that extroverted side of yourself, its definitely there and ready. If there are other shy introverted people reading this post, I hope my little story of hanging out in a Melbourne bar for a few hours on the weekend can encourage you to go out and find what you want too.

Positivity Friday

Tomorrow marks one year since I graduated with my Masters degree in International Relations, pretty big deal, I only just got through my final year in High School and struggled through the first few years of university, so getting a Masters degree was a tremendous achievement and I am proud of my accomplishment.

This week has been hard though, I’m missing my friends and family and knowing that it has been a year since I graduated I am naturally in self reflection mode. Have I accomplished anything? Kind of? But not really, my friends and family will likely disagree but I know I could have done better. When I self reflect I am usually very hard on myself, and I have been doing that this week, self doubt usually punches me in the face and I just think I am not good enough at anything. That is obviously not true, I know I’m good and capable and that I am taking small steps in the right direction.

Everyone is telling me to stay positive and I am trying, but nearly three months in to the job search the struggle is real. No matter how much you prepare for it, when the job rejections are rolling in, its very hard to feel good about yourself.

What am I doing to stay positive?

A number of things I have already outlined in this post Apparently I’m An Adult?

But further to that I write, just writing this post alone is therapeutic. I write down my feelings and acknowledge the fact that I feel negative but then I move on. I acknowledge the fact that I will likely feel negative again but I know I have to keep going. At the end of each week I try and either write down or make a mental note of positive things that happened. My list for this week is as follows:

  • I applied for several jobs and I will apply for some more.
  • I didn’t feel as nervous about applying for jobs this week, which is progress.
  • I showed up to Toastmasters again, and although I was a little socially awkward I got through.
  • I went through the site Meet Up and joined a bunch of groups, next step is to actually attend an event.
  • I treated myself to a foot massage on Monday.
  • I also treated myself to Zumbo Macarons and a Krispy Kreme Doughnut.
  • I started exercising again and I am drinking more water.
  • I’m sleeping a little better, and I’m starting to get out of bed before 11am.
  • I started tidying my room on the regular and did not let my room get too messy.
  • I am continuing to make progress on the book I am reading Insane Clown President.

So in a week where I had struggled greatly, missed home, and had a good cry I also managed to take some steps forward, mixed bag but it was alright. I’m taking positivity from the little things. I hope you had an alright week too.

Apparently I’m An Adult?

The things I have noticed about adulthood in 2017:

  • Everyone is busy.
  • Everyone is bragging about their lives on social media.
  • Everyone is buying houses, getting married, having babies etc.

I recognise that these are gross generalisations but when my head is consumed by anxiety it can certainly feel like the truth.

I need to be more busy right now, not to the point where I can talk about how busy I am, but just enough so I can be more present in my life and worry less. I’m currently occupying my time exploring the wonderful city of Melbourne and applying for work. But there is more that I can be doing.

I hope I don’t brag on social media, I’m probably guilty of it though. Every few weeks I think I’ll quit but I really like taking pictures of my food so… *insert shrugging emoji.*

I don’t own a house (I am also content with the idea that it may never happen), I am no where close to getting married (which is okay for now). I’m mainly just Googling how to do things from ‘how to make new friends’ to ‘how to write a cover letter,’ instead of actually doing said things. The fact that I am not doing the above ‘adult’ things is at times very stressful and can bring about a lot of anxiety, overthinking and of late sleepless nights.

So as a Millennial how do I cope? When everyone else appears at least to have it together and I don’t.

In no particular order:

Meditate: I downloaded the Headspace app, I felt somewhat silly doing it but I also kind of love it. My goal is to focus on being present. Meditation helps reduce stress, increases happiness and acceptance and improves concentration. All you need to do is take 10 minutes a day!

Positive affirmations: I brought a happiness journal from Kikki.K and in it was told to write down three positive affirmations to always tell myself.

Repeat after me:

  • I am a smart and capable person, I possess the qualities needed to be successful.
  • Today I abandon old habits and take up new more positive ones.
  • I have unlimited potential, I am excited about today.

Other reminders:

Don’t be too hard on yourself and DON’T. COMPARE. YOURSELF. TO. OTHERS. It’s not worth it, (reminder to self: Anushka it’s not worth it).

Treat Yo Self. Because you are worth it. (Also watch Parks & Recreation because that show is a treat in itself).

I am adult because I work hard, I am responsible, I laugh, I cry, I am rational, irrational, I get angry, moody, I love. Its all the same things that make me human.

So I’m going to try and chill and keep at it. I got this, and so do you.

Hi I’m new here

Years from now when I am a successful professional blogger *insert laughing emoji* I will likely look back on this first blog post and cringe. Nevertheless here we are, first blog post. What do I write about? I’ve been reading a lot about how to start a blog, the majority say I need my ‘niche.’ I don’t have a niche.

During my mild panic of creating this blog and figuring out what it will be about I found myself on Google researching whether it was okay not to do niche, the blogs I consulted said it would be fine, so not niche it is.

I’ve just moved to a new city so I’ll talk about that, I’m rather introverted so I’ll talk about that. I love superhero movies so I’ll likely get hyped about that here, I’ll probably post some of my baking, I’ll definitely talk about news and politics.

I enjoy writing and I want to get better, so that’s why I am here to share my experiences with you. I hope you can join in.